Knee Deep in the Rivers of Rage

Why are you reading in the shower? Does the wife not approve of your choice in reading materials? Are they offensive to her? Do you not share the same gastrointestinal longings? Aren't you man enough to read in the living room like a real man? I want answers.
 

why won't you answer my questions?
 

Why won't you reveal your identity?? Why don't you read in the shower like an un-real man? Why aren't you married? Why doesn't my wife approve of what you read?? Will you please be my secretary?
 

Well, mr. shower reading man, I am married. You should know that almost better than anyone. And I'd be happy to send lisa my reading lists for her approval.

As far as being your secretary, i've seen the competition and I don't think I can hold a candle so I'd rather not be in the running.
 

I'm not just going to go away. I'm not disposable like that cigarette and recyclable can of Fosters (TM). I'm a person who deserves to be answered. Who deserves to read in the shower without my "pages" wilting. Who deserves to be more like you.

Please answer me.
 

Dearest Anonymous,

Would you like to come over and read in the shower with me?
 

maybe we should have dinner first.
how's about on the 29th?
 

THe 29th works for me! Are you coming to RAGE HQ? We have a barbecue!